Posts filed under ‘pregnancy’
Won’t be a long post, but wanted to quickly acknowledge that on February 19th, 2008 my little baby girl, Hallie, was born! 8lbs 8oz and healthy as can be. Great set of lungs on that one!!!
Things have been great lately. Barring the issues with ND over drinking, he’s really stepped up and is trying to keep it under control. Not 100% perfect, but really conscious and making a huge effort. And he’s been truly incredible with the baby. He changes ALL the diapers. Really. All of them. He’s made it his mission to make sure that I don’t have to deal with that if he’s here. And he’s just in love with Hallie, and sometimes I catch him near tears watching her. It takes my breath away to see the two people I love more than anyone else in the world so loving with each other.
And my mother has been AMAZING!! Totally supportive of me, helpful with the baby, available, and not pushing the boundaries. She seems totally comfortable in her new role, and seems to take pleasure in watching me be the mother, while she gets to be the nice grandmother who just holds the baby and takes photos of us all. *sigh* I’ve never been so happy with her in my adult life. I feel so blessed!!!
Overall my pregnancy was pretty easy. I felt good, no more depression or anxiety, and all in all, really enjoyed being pregnant. Now that Hallie’s here, I feel amazing. Elated. And thrilled that the swelling is starting to go down in my feet – FINALLY!
And Hallie, I just can’t stop looking at her! She’s amazing. So smart, so beautiful, so precious!
February 28, 2008 at 6:41 pm
So I invited my mother to come to my next doctor’s appointment on wednesday morning… I didn’t think it all the way through — that this is my first appointment since switching back to my old doctor; that I won’t be getting a sonogram; that I have a lot of questions about placenta preva and bed rest and having sex and having orgasms; and that most of all I’m scared about the diagnosis of placenta preva and I’d like to feel free to be scared without having to put on a brave face for my mom…
She’s usually great about making me feel better when I’m sick, but this feels like a big deal, and she’s kind of brushing it away like I shouldn’t be worried… And she doesn’t get that not having sex or not having an orgasm for 5 months might be upsetting to me. So upon thinking it through, I decided I didn’t want her to go with me after all.
Here’s the email chain with her — this whole exchange made me feel so trapped because I tried so hard to not get into details, but she just barrels over me and is totally insensitive to my signals and wouldn’t take the hint… But I KNOW that if I say it outright I risk a big fight and she’ll get mad…
I think I did a good job with these emails, but I haven’t heard back yet… Wish me luck!!!
—-
Hey Mom,
If you’re free, it would be much better for you to come with me to my Hospital sonogram appointment on Wednesday in the afternoon instead of the office visit in the morning… I’d love for you to see the high resolution images of the baby and her heart, and the office visit will likely not have any sonogram at all. Let me know if you can make it! Looking forward to seeing you again.
L
Hi Lex,
Unfortunately I teach on Wednesday at 6.
So, can I still come in the morning?
I’d love to come to the hospital next time.
Let me know and where and when.
Love, Mom
Hi Ma,
I so badly don’t want to offend you by saying that I want to do this one myself, but after thinking about it on the weekend I realized that I’m really scared about what she’s going to say about the Placenta Preva diagnosis, and have a bunch of questions about my “parts” that I think I need to ask in private, if you know what I mean… Would you meet me for brunch afterwards though, maybe go to Arba or Beth’s Restaurant at 11am? I’m taking the whole day off and would love to see you.
Xoxo, Lexi
October 2, 2007 at 12:51 am
the night before last:
– a zombie threw up on me
– my house was infested with ants
– someone chopped up a HUGE snake in front of me
– my mother’s best friend stole from my grandmother
– ND and I broke up because he cheated on me
– and I spent the whole dream trying to grapple with having this baby alone
September 21, 2007 at 2:49 pm
got home drunk again. I didn’t mind, was playful with him, we talked, hugged, it was all nice. but then he invited anu and kelly over to drop stuff off and it was already 11 and they were coming from brooklyn! I asked him 4 times while he was on the phone to see if we could do it tomorrow night and he flat out ignored me… I’m so tired, and he keeps inviting, people over REPEATEDLY at really late hours and I’m fucking sick of it. This is like the 5th time this has happened and I’m done.
I don’t know what to do about this. I’ve never in my life had someone who absolutely flat out didn’t give a shit if I said something. I was YELLING at him and he totaly ignored it. I mean, I love anu, I don’t want to make her feel unwelcome, it’s not about her, but this puts me in such an uncomfortable position. I took tonight as my night to sleep… I went to sleep at 8:30 and he came home drunk and slammed the door, so we ordered food, and now he’s inviting people over — it’s just like he’s not hearing me. I’m totally exhausted, and it’s like whatever soemone else wants to do trumps me. his reply was drunk, it was “in that case, I’ll let you eat all the food we just ordered, and I won’t eat any”
he volunteers me for stuff and says “what else could I do?” – like kevin wanted to drop something off at our place and was like “lexi will be here” without even asking me. all I wanted was for him to ASK, was to say “hey, any chance we could do this tomorrow instead? would that be just as easy? Lexi’s tired” and if the answer is no, that’s fine, but it’s like he just makes the decision that whatever he thinks is right is the only option
August 10, 2007 at 3:39 am
I finally figured out why I’m so freaked out… My father had an affair and left my mother when I was 3 months old!
I’m now almost 3 months pregnant and have very little energy and don’t feel like going out much. ND on the other hand is out every night, often till 11 or 12, but some nights like tonight till 4am… I don’t want to be the old ball and chain who’s giving him shit about having a social life, hell, I would probably do the same in reverse, but I think I’m having a lot of anxiety about him for this reason…
July 28, 2007 at 9:46 am
We went to dinner with my mom and stepfather on Tuesday and they were totally in shock. My mother didn’t believe me at first, and just looked confused. But then they both started crying and were thrilled. The night was EXHAUSTING though. So many questions! questions questions questions!!
June 28, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Yesterday ND and I went to the mermaid parade in coney island and ran into some friends we haven’t seen in a while who, much to our surprise, now have a 2 month old baby. She was telling us that she’s 45 and wasn’t expecting to have children at all, so this was a happy surprise. She said she was going for a mammagram and knew they’d ask if she was pregnant, so one saturday morning she was up early and took a pregnancy test. Lo and behold, she was positive! So she went and woke her man up and told him.
Later, I was telling ND about that story, and he was like “Yeah, cause false positives are really rare!” — anyway, so this morning, ND went out and I slept in (haven’t been sleeping well lately) and when I woke up, I decided to take a test. I’m VERY irregular with my period, and I really don’t keep track, but I did spot one day recently and thought I was about to get my period and then nothing happened, and it’s been a while since I got it, so I figured what the hell, lemme see…
Lo and behold, I my test was positive!!!
June 24, 2007 at 7:51 pm
